Gods Amazing Grace




, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. II Corinthians 12:9 Those words, written by Paul, have been an inspiration to me since I first read them. I knew that God would never leave me, and never forsake me. Rather, he would be with me, and supply whatever I needed to accomplish his will. This is what I believed and held onto in life. It would keep me going through the tough times that came along. But I was about to be taken down a road of faith that I had not traveled before. Let me start at the beginning, on a day like any other, in the summer of 1995. After working on a fence with my father, I began to experience hearing loss in my left ear immediately after going in for lunch. It was bothersome, but I did not feel any pain. The best way to explain it is that it is like being in an airplane when the pressure causes you to have a muffled sound in your ears. After a few hours I realized something was seriously wrong. I went straight to the emergency room at the local hospital. They could find no answer to my dilemma. They suggested I see an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist. After a series of medication, and shots, I was told there was nothing else they could do for me. I would live out the rest of my life deaf in my left ear. I pondered the outcome and came to peace with the results. I could do it, lots of people are deaf in one ear. I too could lead an almost normal life without the ability to hear in one ear. I believed, whatever the reason, God would take me down this road. I was at rest with it. “Just trust Him,” I would often say to myself. That trust would be put to the test in a far greater way than I could have ever imagined in the summer of 1996. At this point in my life I really did not need anything to happen. Nonetheless, it did. I was pastoring Cornerstone Baptist Church, which was just getting off the ground. The church was small. So I looked for a job to help supplement my income, and had an opportunity to teach at a private school. Funds were low, and this job wouldn’t begin until September. Meanwhile, to supplement our income, I began to throw a big city newspaper in rural areas. It was late at night, and tiresome; but I enjoyed the time alone with the Lord. I would often stop my vehicle out on a country road, and get out to pray and worship God underneath a beautiful blanket of stars. I needed those moments with the Father more than I really knew. In late June tragedy struck again. This time, I became totally deaf. What I thought would never happen, what the specialist said would never happen, happened. Due to the same disorder I now had lost hearing in both ears. I was so deaf that I could not even hear myself talk. I had never experienced such silence. The specialist once again said that they had done all that they could do. They suggested I should take lip reading classes so that I might be able to communicate with others. It was a hard time for my wife, as well as myself. I began to talk less. The doctors warned my wife that if I did not talk I would eventually lose my ability to speak correctly. She now had to write things down on paper in order to communicate with me. We also used our own homemade sign language. I am a very bad lip reader. So I struggled to understand those who spoke to me. It broke my heart when my daughters spoke to me, and I could not understand them. They did not understand why Daddy couldn’t hear them. Questions flooded my mind. What was God doing? Would He heal me? What was to become of our church? How would I preach and communicate the Gospel? How would I lead the singing in our small church? How would I teach if I couldn’t hear? How would I support my family? These were real questions in my mind that I did not know the answers to. But God gave me scriptures to lean on for comfort and strength during this time. One such scripture was II Corinthians 12:9. I knew God was in control. I knew He would never forsake me. I knew His grace was sufficient. Other scriptures that helped me through this time are: Isaiah 40:31, Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 43:1-3, and Isaiah 54:17. These scriptures showed me that regardless if God healed me or left me deaf, that He was in control of my life, the church, my career, and my family. I was not to be in control. I was to take a back seat and allow God to lead. I allowed Him to be Lord of my life. All I needed to do was to truly trust him with all my heart. I can look back now and see the blessings of God that came during this time, in the way of friends. There were people all over the state of Texas, and some in other states praying for my healing. I was ready to accept whatever road He would lead me down. I knew that God could use me deaf or hearing, and I was ready to follow him however He saw fit. I really believe that God is able to lead and move in our lives when we put ourselves in the place of following and trusting Him no matter what. I am so glad we serve a Father that hears and cares about the lives of His children. He heard our cries, our prayers, and He answered by giving me back my hearing. Glory to God. I now Trust Him even more than before. His word always stands true. Be aware that He is a great Father and would continue to be even if He had not restored my hearing. But I am so thankful and feel so blessed having gone through this, and to have my hearing back. It was only by His grace that I made it through and did not give up on Him. When everyone is giving up hope, when there seems to be no cure, when the answers are not there, when there seems to be no way out, trust Him, His grace is sufficient.