A Better Plan
by Jay Adams
“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”
Philipians 4:13
Holy be to God for the life I now live! I grew up with a wonderful
family that did their best to raise me right, they taught me good
morals and respect.
I have rodeoed since the age of 8 and have been very successful. But
around the age of 17 I was introduced to the world of
methamphetamines; which I now believe was sent to earth by the devil
to steal, kill and destroy. I used for fun for the first year or so,
until it had complete control over me. I went to college on a full
rodeo scholarship. But because of the drugs, I quit school and let my
life take a complete downward spiral. Over the years of my addiction I
got a pure hatred for this awful drug that controlled every aspect of
my life. I couldn’t stop! Didn’t know how! I alienated myself from me
family and friends; mostly because I was ashamed of myself. I couldn’t
bare the hurt I knew I had caused. I am and have always been my own
worst critic and I knew better.
I went to rehab and got clean for a while but I had the little notion
in the back of my mind that “I could play with the devil and win”;
with that belief, I went right back to the addiction. Many nights I
sat alone hating this drug and what it had brought me to, from an
all-around cowboy to a junkie. I didn’t know how to defeat what was
taking my very soul and hurting my family so badly. I came very close
to committing suicide many times; thinking it’s the only way I could
win the only way I could quit hurting everyone I love. Thank God,He
had a great plan for me. I continued using until I got busted for
drugs. I got put on probation which made me stop; until I could get by
with using again. Eventually I got busted again and sentenced to 13
years in Texas Department of Criminal Justice. During those 3 years,
before I was granted parole, I only learned more to have hate in my
heart. More times than not, officers treated us inmates, with complete
disrespect and were very degrading. To them you were just another
number rather than a human. I feel it did more harm than good at that
point. After 3 and a half years, I was released and had the mind set
to stay away from this demon. I felt I was strong and could handle
this addiction. But once again, I gave in and began using again and
had an even quicker downward spiral losing everything. I ended up back
in prison with another charge. This time I was trying to find myself
and I had no idea how I had even gotten to that point again. As I went
back to prison I decided that I was completely powerless over this
drug! I made my mind up that I was done with it FOREVER. Once I made
this decision I realized I had never truly decided to be done with
this drug and to release the chains it had on me. I had said I would
quit but never truly gave it up.
I was baptized at a young age and had known and become very close to
God and felt His presence multiple times. But now I believe God heard
my heart and knew I was sincere in asking for his help to be delivered
from this evil drug. I spent the next 4 years in prison in both TDJC
and the Federal System. In the Federal system, I enrolled in a very
good program called RDAP. I had thought deeply about why I was
actually using after the fun had worn off, and realized my main issue
was feeling like a complete failure in life. I was not a good son; I
was not a good father to my two daughters. I was not a good partner in
my relationship. I gave up my dream of rodeo and quit roping. I was
just failing at everything in life. In finding this out about myself I
began checking out and reading books on these issues. I would spend
hours watching videos on how to be a better parent and a better
partner. I took the tools they gave me in classes and used them in my
daily walk; because I was tired of losing to this demon that I
battled. I spent time reading daily devotionals and standing on the
word of God. I was released from prison in 2013 and can proudly say
today that with the grace of God, I have NEVER touched the drug again.
I have maintained a good job, am married to a good woman and I have an
amazing relationship with her. She has a son that calls me dad, I have
gained rights back to my youngest daughter and we have built an
amazing bond together. Lord willing I will have custody of her in the
near future. My oldest daughter and I have also built a bond together,
although she lives many states away. I have started team roping again
and won my way to the World Series of Team Roping Finals in Las Vegas,
where I qualified in 5 of the 7 roping events. I did not win any money
at the finals but it is amazing when you can finally understand that
sometimes God puts you through things you may not understand; so that
you can truly appreciate how He blesses you. I sat at an outside
roping in Vegas and with tears in my eyes thought back at the years of
my battles. I looked around me at the amazing mountains that God
created. During the years of my addiction, my family had split, and I
was locked up when my parents divorced. My sister whom I was not close
to most of my life because of this drug, moved away and no one would
speak to each other. While in Vegas my father who is happily
remarried, my mother who is also happily remarried, and my sister who
is married with two awesome boys, two of my aunts and my parents in
laws came to support me. Some strong prayers of mine were answered. I
prayed with my mother and broke down some walls that had been up for
years. Then I realized making the finals wasn’t only about me
achieving a life long dream of mine. It was also about mending many
wounds in between me and my family that had been done over many years.
Just as God used me and those circumstances, I believe he has even
more plans for me in my future to help others that may be battling
demons in their own lives. It may be someone in addiction or just
struggling with life, or maybe a family member of an addict or just
someone who needs to know how great God is. I have now been clean of
meth for 7 years and I thank God, every day. To this day my wife and I
pray at every meal and ask God to not only to bless us, but more so,
to let us be a Blessing to Him! I give God all the glory for the many
blessings He has given me. I pray that me sharing my story will touch
at least one person and be a blessing to them.
GOD BLESS
Jay Adams
“Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to
everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew,
to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the
law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under
the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the
law (though I am not free from Godʼs law but am under Christʼs law),
so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to
win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all
possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the
gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”
1 Corinthians 9:19-23
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