Meth head Tim
by Merrily Brast Union Gospel Mission
Tim O’Neil had two priorities – himself and his addiction.
He used drugs to deal with feelings of shame; shame from believing
he was never enough and, ironically, shame from his addiction.
“I was on the streets, lost in a lot of shame and guilt, lost in
my addiction and didn’t know another way to deal with it other than
run and use more drugs.”
The shame from his addiction kept him from connecting with his
family. Disconnecting from loved ones only resulted in more shame and
in turn, “I used drugs to cover up that pain.” Tim was caught in a
downward spiral.
He isolated himself, using a tough façade to mask his shame. “I
used to do all kinds of horrible stuff to people. I didn’t care about
anyone’s feelings.”
Tim’s life revolved around drugs.
“I was all into myself…stealing, robbing people, whatever I could
do to get high. Using excuses and hurting people, people who were
trying to reach out to me, who I didn’t even know I was hurting
because I was so lost in my addiction.”
Eventually, not even the drugs were able to numb Tim’s pain and he
hit rock bottom. “The lowest point was not having anyone around me.”
“It felt like I was not worthy of living, not worthy of loving.”
That’s when he came to the Mission.
At the UGM Men’s Shelter, a friend asked him to join the recovery
program. “I was like, I don’t have anything to lose. I thought I was
coming in just to get clean.”
Instead, Tim experienced a whole new approach to life.
UGM LIFE Recovery stands apart from many rehabilitation programs
because of its holistic approach to healing. Not only do individuals’
deal with their addictions, but with the spiritual, emotional, and
psychological causes underlying their addiction.
For Tim, that meant he could no longer run from his shame. “The
biggest thing that helped me in recovery is being truthful, not sugar
coating stuff, and working on my problems.
“Even though it’s been a journey – hard, emotional work that comes
along with the program – I believe it’s beneficial.”
Tim is learning the importance of not isolating himself as he has
done in the past.
“Knowing that I’m not on my own, knowing that there’s help here. I
feel like I’m still here because people embrace me…talking about my
problems, taking my masks off…It’s helping me, getting me outside of
myself.”
Surrounding himself with support has drastically changed Tim from
the self-focused loner he used to be.
“I’m not always the tough guy; I’m a soft caring individual. I’m
not the violent person that I was brought up to be…Now I’m a person
who speaks the truth and who cares for people.
“It’s not all about me anymore, it’s all about helping other
people in whatever way I can.”
Tim has also realized he’s passionate about caring for animals.
He recently finished his business practicum in the supportive
environment at LynnDee’s Grooming and Dog Training and will be working
toward becoming a certified dog trainer in the coming months.
In the past, Tim’s addiction limited his life, but now, his world
is widening. He’s working, reconnecting with family, discovering his
true identity, and surrounding himself with support.
“I have reasons to live now, I have reasons to have a happy
future. I have reasons to have a happy life. I don’t have to live
anymore in anger, in shame, in regret.”
“I couldn’t have done it without God, through UGM. They’ve given
me nice, warm shelter, food, recovery, support…a sense of purpose in
life.”
What if?
What if, the true Church of Jesus Christ became one? What if the
Church became a passionate Bride, uncompromised, and relentless in its
pursuit of Jesus? What if denominationally, churches laid aside its
qualms, to see a lost and dying city reached with the gospel of Jesus
Christ? What if?
The ramifications to these questions are endless. But not
unachievable. These proposed questions are indeed feasible, by the
power of the Spirit, but it costs. It costs time, it costs total
devotion to Christ, and it costs crucifixion of pride. The question is
not what if, but Church of Spokane, are you willing? We speak of
revival, and ascribing to wanting the Lord to bring such, but twiddle
our spiritual thumbs if it cost. Are you willing?
The High Priestly prayer of Jesus reverberates into the modern Church,
Jesus prays, in John 17:21 “that they may all be one, just as you,
Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that
the world may believe that you have sent me.”1
My name is James Robinson, I currently attend Moody Bible Institute in
Spokane, Washington. In May of 2015, this idea of ecumenical unity
gripped me. The Church of Spokane, has a plethora of ministries, and
programs, but has greatly been segregated by self-preservation. After
praying, I felt the Lord’s impression to start a sustainable effort,
by His grace, for unity. A group of faithful Moody students and I,
started praying and contending for revival. We envisioned the Church
becoming one, by the power of the Spirit, through prayer, for the
purpose of God’s glorification and evangelization of Spokane. The
heartbeat is to see a twenty four hour canopy of prayer in the city
for revival. That pastors/ministry leaders would gather to seek
Christ, and link arms for souls to be won to Jesus. In November 2015,
was the kick start to this vision. Pastors and ministry leaders
gathered at Fourth Memorial Church to seek the face of God. The Lord
poured out His presence in a tremendous way. As well, starting this
past January, a couple churches committed to praying each month on a
designated day (One Day/One Church). We are seeing a hunger for Jesus
on Pastors and Christian leaders in the Church of Spokane. The Lord is
moving!
We want to continue this vision. The next quarterly prayer time for
ministry leaders and pastors will be on February 26, 2016 at 8 a.m. at
Fourth Memorial Church (2000 N. Standard Street). Jason Hubbard from
Light of the World Prayer Center, from Bellingham, Washington, will be
joining us and be speaking to us. He is a revivalist and has seen
unification manifest in Wacom County, Washington. Also if you are a
Church Pastor or a local ministry leader and want to commit to praying
as a local Church on a designated day each month for the city and the
Church, please contact us as well. Praise the Lord!
Please contact us at standtogehterspk@gmail.com
May the Lord Jesus bless you,
James Robinson
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (Jn 3:30). All glory be to
Christ!!
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