Webster’s dictionary defines learn as “to get knowledge or skill by study, experience, etc. Although we never think about learning from grief, it is a lesson in life through our loss. I have found that through the loss of my son, I have learned many life lessons. Although I had always considered myself as a compassionate person, my grief experience has given a new knowledge on how to better understand the feelings of others who have lost loved ones. It is amazing how grief enables people to relate to one another at a deeper level than before. Until you’ve experience grief, you cannot empathize with someone else who is going through it. Unfortunately, you have that experience now so you are better “qualified” to provide assistance to others in grief and more effectively help others. 2 Corinthians 1:4 tells us “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give the same comfort God has given us.” Although we will never be able to give them the same comfort God gives us, we can comfort them and encourage them as they struggle through the grief process. I believe that is the reason, you need to participate in a biblically based grief support group to aid in your healing. It does not matter how long ago your loss occurred, grief support groups are for people at all stages of the grieving process. There is something special about the sharing and the group’s caring for each other that bonds the people together and helps with the healing process. If you are interested in learning more about grief support groups in your area, go to and find out which churches are offering them. Also, you need to sign up for their daily griefshare emails which are wonderful and keep you encouraged.
Another lesson I have learned is that grief will either make you a better person or a bitter person. When your heart hardens as you resist its lesson, it is impossible to heal and and your life can become miserable. One scripture that confuses many people and is often misconstrued is I Thessalonians 5:18 which states “In everything, give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”. It doesn’t say to give thanks for all situations but in all situations which is a big difference. God’s ways are so far beyond our ways that we can’t even comprehend and we will never understand but we can be thankful that nothing happens to us unless the Lord allows it. Initially, it is impossible to give thanks but eventually you can if your faith is strong enough. It is difficult but possible to thank the Lord through your tears and broken heart and this is when you glorify the Lord and also where you learn. I have found that through my grief, it has been a great opportunity for unbelievable spiritual growth. One of my favorite quotes is “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain”. Unfortunately the storms of life will continue for the rest of your life but the good news is that the Lord Jesus Christ will always be with you and through your grief experience, you can learn to have a greater, deeper, and closer relationship with Him.
God Bless.