God's Hand on My Life
By Kathy
I have always believed in God but until this past
year I believed that God
really didn''t care much about little ole me and
my problems. Boy was I
ever
wrong. I was living in the world and I thought I
was doing ok without
God in
my life. Wrong again! My family and I moved to the
northwest (Spokane) in
February of 1998 from Houston, Texas. My husband
was a nurse at Sacred
Heart Medical Center and I was a nursing student
at WSU/ICN. Life was on
the right track. We had just bought a new home in
the valley and all
seemed
to be going well. We seemed to be the perfect
All-American family. Two
children, three cats, and two dogs. New cars and a
boat the envy of the
neighbors. What we didn''t share with others was
my husbands and my
growing meth addiction. I first tried meth on
August 13, 1999 and I had no
idea how this "party" drug would destroy my
family. My husband''s family
not only introduced meth to me but also soon
became our dealer. Meth would
destroy my security, my children''s life, and my
All-American dream.
On June 5, 2002 my husband went on a short-lived
robbery spree and
ended up with 9 felony counts and is currently
serving a 22 months
sentence
in Walla Walla. Instead of this tragedy putting a
stop to my drug use
I began
to use more to cover my fears, pain, and
depression. Soon I was asked to
leave school and with no means of supporting my
two children our home
went into foreclosure proceedings. Still I did not
stop using meth.
Instead I
began selling and took the next step in my
addiction and began shooting
(slamming) meth for the bigger and better high.
On March 3, 2002 God stopped me dead in my tracks.
I didn''t know it
was God at the time but I was arrested in Spokane
on a fugitive
warrant out
of Idaho. I was accused of burglary. I was
extradited to Kootenai County
and as I sit in jail my so-called friends emptied
my house of any and all
valuables. My mother-in-law and dealer took my
children. I had hit rock
bottom. I cried out to God, "Why? Why?". I
attended any and all self-help
classes offered at the jail. Alcoholic Anonymous,
church, Bible studies,
counseling with the Chaplin''s, and drug
education. You name it and I was
there attendance. Through attendance in these
classes I was able to
meet Charles and Wanda Murrel and Pastor Tim
Remington.
I had been in jail for 65 days when I realized
that I truly needed to be
delivered from my drug addiction. Ironically
though I still did not
want to
commit myself 100% to any program. I knew one
thing and one thing only
I wanted out of jail and I would do or say
anything to accomplish
that. My socalled
friends paid my bail 6 times and I was unable to
walk out of jail for one
reason or another. God was trying to get my
attention and I still was
trying to
work the system. I had a release hearing scheduled
for May 16th
approaching and I knew I needed a treatment plan
to present to the
judge in
order to be released. God knew what I was feeling
in my heart but he also
knew that I would not be able to con everyone for
the 4-month period
required for treatment.
On May 25, 2002, after 82 days in jail I was
released. The judge released
me under very strict conditions. One of which was
my attendance to Calvary
Ranch in San Diego California. This is a 30-day
in-patient drug and
alcohol
program. I left for sunny California on June 6,
2002. To me Calvary Ranch
was like jail and I bucked all the rules and tried
to get away with as
much as I
could. I was miserable and I was making everyone
around me miserable. I
tried to pray and it felt like all my prayers
bounced off the ceiling.
Why was
everyone else happy but not me? I can answer this
now .. .I had not
given it all
to God. On June 27th I prayed like never before
and I asked God to please
help me find my way to Him. God was faithful and I
was answered while I
was reading the scriptures the following day. The
Bible came alive as
I read;
"Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake
you." My God really cared
about me. Hebrews Chapter 10, 11, 12, and 13
allowed the Bible to become
more than just words for me. I felt like Helen
Keller and the break
through
she must have felt to know that a certain sign
ment W-A-T-E-R. Praise
God!!
After the ranch I returned to Idaho and began the
90-day Good Samaritan
Mentor program. This is a program where the addict
lives with a Christian
family and learns to live a healthy life style.
Things did not always
go easy
for me in the Mentor program but thank God that
Pastor Tim did not give up
on me and he had faith that God could heal me and
make me a Godly woman
and a Godly mother for my children. Pastor Tim and
others have had
stood in
the gap for me on many occasions. I often give
everything to God and then
slowly take back all that I give. I have extreme
issues with men and
trust and
I pray every day for the Lords help in these
areas. God has held my
hand on
so many days this last 6 months. He has brought
the perfect people into my
life, as I have needed them.
I still have legal problems to deal with and my
mother-in-law still
will not let
me see or speak with my children but I know that
God knows my hearts
desires and I know he will restore my family in
HIS time not mine. If
I end
up going to prison I know too that this will have
a purpose. I sowed a
lot of
bad seeds and my actions have consequences. I am
learning for the
first time in my life to accept full
responsibility for all my
actions. I am responsible for
everything that I do no ands if or but about it.
Thank God there are
people in
the world like Pastor Tim Remington and Delilah
Wild. People that see
potential in others. People that see what other
people can become and not
what people are. People that see others through
Gods eyes.
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