No Matter How Deep The Pit, God Is Even Deeper!
By Dana McKlure
The Holy Spirit has prompted me to share a
synopsis of my personal
story so that hurting souls may know there is true
healing and
restoration at the Cross, where lives are changed
from glory to glory!
I am well aware that Satan is the dark force
behind every bad
decision made in life (mine and others) and his
agenda is to destroy
the person with heartaches, or illnesses, as well
as those
experiencing the storms of life. His agenda is the
same for those of
whom he is master; maybe those you see as the
perpetrator(s) of your
pain (many times family). The Word tells us that
we will have troubles
in this world.
These things I have spoken unto you that in me, ye
shall have peace.
In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of
good cheer; I have
overcome the world. -- John 6:33
I was the oldest in a large family. Even though
dysfunction was the
order of the day when I was growing up, I never
understood how bad it
really was until, at the age of 38, I found I
couldn’t function
anymore. I wasn’t blubbering or anything, but I
couldn’t do more than
the basic requirements of daily living. Severe
depression and panic
attacks became my whole “life,” but I’m jumping a
head of the story ...
I ran away from home at the age of 17, right after
graduation, and was
in the labor room delivering my first baby on my
first anniversary.
When my baby was five weeks old, I rededicated my
life to Christ. I
had first accepted the Lord at the age of nine at
church camp, but
wasn’t living in an environment where I could be
mentored. After 10
years of a sham marriage with a man who made very
bad choices, my
husband decided he didn’t want to be a family man
and he abandoned us
so that he could enjoy the wild side of life
(another pawn in the
hands of Satan). I found myself among the “working
poor,” struggling
to make it just as a multitude of other women have
in the U.S.A. With
determination I forged along, many times working
long hours and at
other times, because of health problems, not
working at all. I know
the embarrassment of standing in food commodity
lines, being treated
like dirt at the welfare office, and seeing
cashiers snub their noses
at me when I hand them my food stamps. I
understand the pain of losing
your home and moving from place to place because
there is no rent
money. I know what it’s like to feed your kids
and then eat what is
left over and to wear clothes from Goodwill.
But my God shall supply all your need according to
His riches in glory
in Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 4:19
Because of my pain conditions, most times I felt
too bad to care what
others thought. The Lord provided every need at
the “midnight hour.”
Did it need to be that way? NO. That’s all I gave
Him to work with.
My life would have been so different if I had just
understood my value
in God’s eyes.
When I was 37, my kids were getting into college
and I was working as
a Federal employee, the best job I’d ever had. I
expected my life to
be good at this juncture, not falling apart. When
I fell into
depression I lost my appetite and lost 40 pounds
quickly (I needed to
lose it, but not this way!). Insomnia was ruling
my life and ruining
my job performance. I started “closet” drinking
during the midnight
hours so that I could sleep a little, and soon
started battling
suicidal thoughts and panic attacks, as well as
flashbacks that I
didn’t understand. I spent many long days
isolating from everyone and
know what it’s like to suffer from painful
loneliness. I felt like God
wouldn’t waste time on a loser like me, not
knowing that this belief
was part of the depression. I thought, If I could
just fix myself,
maybe He would help me! I found quickly that I
needed professional
help, which was not a favorable decision in my
circle. This threw my
relationships with family and church into turmoil.
The prevailing
thought of the times was that, as a Christian, I
was not supposed to
be having these problems. But I was!
I wanted to have “loser” tattooed on my arm
(literally), but thank God
I heard God saying, “NO!” I figured I was already
on His bad side.
Better leave well enough alone.
I didn’t know what was happening to me and feared
I was losing my
mind. The first psychiatrist I saw admitted me
into the hospital
immediately. For the next five years, there were
several more
hospitalizations, three of which were a result of
treatment in the ER
for overdoses.
This was a real “shock” for my family and church.
I had been a prayer
leader (performance oriented) and was really
clueless about what I was
going through. For whatever reason the experiences
of abuse from my
past, which had been hiding in a secret place,
took on a life of their
own and decided to emerge into my consciousness at
any cost. Trying to
stop it was like trying to hold a beach ball under
water! Impossible!
It was exhausting. I did have some vague memories
of being molested,
but I put the memories on a shelf hoping they
would disappear and
never mentioned them to anyone.
My childhood nightmares returned, bringing along
panic attacks,
flashbacks, and body memories (or sensory
flashbacks). My life became
one long nightmare. The flashbacks brought along
dissociation (spacing
out, if you will). I could not function on a job
at all and all I
wanted was to disappear! The mental pain was
excruciating. I had no
choice but to go on disability, a terrible blow to
my already damaged ego.
The first five years of this depression was often
life-threatening.
Reasoning told me I wouldn’t survive. The Holy
Spirit told me that I
would. Actually, the Lord had told me six years
before I dove into
this depression that I was going to experience a
time of “great
darkness,” a word from God that I held onto
through many long nights.
I knew if God forewarned me, He would see me
through. (The Lord
forewarned the people he loved when he walked the
earth, even warning
Peter of his future “denial of Christ.”). God is
merciful!
The local psych hospital wasn’t much more than a
“safe house,”
although, being a person who loves to observe
human nature, I learned
“tons” by observing the interaction in group
therapy. All the while,
my relationships with my family deteriorated and,
as well, my quality
of life.
You are my righteousness and the strength of my
life. You are my
light, my salvation. Therefore, I have nothing to
fear. -- Psalms 27:1
God heard my desperate cries and led me to a
Christian mental health
clinic far from home, where real treatment took
place. It was there
that I received my first real breakthrough and I
saw a glimmer of hope.
I’m not saying the work done with my therapist at
home wasn’t a “life
line.” It was. I received great insights working
with him. Being alone
was intolerable for me at this point and the
anguish (mental pain and
fear) was severe. My long-term therapist always
made himself available
for me in those tough times. The difference was
that my home therapist
didn’t believe that God would heal psych problems
supernaturally,
whereas, the therapist at the Christian clinic
made God a part of the
head of the treatment team and he listened to the
Holy Spirit as he
utilized his professional skills. The result of
this God-ordained
Christian therapy was that my past became clearer
to me and I learned
that I must allow God to show me how to
distinguish between the truth
and the lies that Satan would have me believe.
Miraculous things happened and I will be sharing
some of these in my
daily blogs on my website. As I fasted and sought
God, He started
healing me as though He was peeling off the layers
of an onion very
deliberately. In my opinion, no therapy has
lasting value without the
Lord leading the session. In my journey to
wholeness, the first sign
of healing was that the nightmares stopped. Then
the flashbacks
stopped. Then I was delivered from suicidal
urges. The Lord continued
to work mightily and my faith continued to
increase! I found a
wonderful Spirit-filled church and soaked up all
of God that I could
absorb. I had depended on Christian TV to feed me
for a couple of
years while I was “isolating” and suffering from
fibromyalgia and
trigeminal nerve pain in my face. This is when I
fell in love with
Perry Stone, Joyce Meyer, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn,
James Robison, and a
few others. I had church in my living room! Just
me and the Holy
Ghost. God loves us right where we are if we will
just look to Him.
One morning in worship service at my new church,
Father God moved on
the pastor to lay hands on me for healing. Pastor
didn’t really know
what my problems were, but he obeyed. I felt the
power of God flow
through me! I had walked in on a cane, too weak to
stand up for very
long and in pain, but I danced back out to the car
that day. God sent
certain people into my life at strategic points to
speak life to me on
the journey and He’ll do the same for you. No
matter how bad off you
are, no matter how alone you are in your “hell on
earth” experience,
no matter how deep the pit, God is deeper still! I
learned that you
don’t have to receive disease as a part of who you
are and you sure
don’t have to accept anguish (pain and fear) into
your life!
He sent His word and healed them, and delivered
them from all their
destruction. -- Psalms 107:20
Your maker has a purpose and a plan for you just
as it says in the Word.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares
the Lord. “Plans to
prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a
hope and a future.”
-- Jeremiah 29:11
God will hear your cry even when you are too sick
in your body or your
mind to pray. Whether your healing comes
instantly or is a process of
time, you’re a winner either way! I can only
speak to what I’ve
experienced and I know that God prepared my heart
to receive healing
through prayer and fasting. When I was still so
sick and struggling
with it all, I just fasted one meal here and
there. Then as my health
improved, I increased my fast time. In Matthew
17:15-21, Jesus tells
the disciples that some healings only take place
through prayer and
fasting.
First things first. Have you repented of your
sins and accepted the
Lord Jesus as your Savior? If so, you have access
to the promises
given to the blood-washed saints. (If you have
not, go back to my
Home Page and visit the “Roman Road.”)
Then, If you feel led by God to engage in fasting
and want to learn
more about it, go to
Http://www.kingdomconnection.org/fasting_tips.pdf.
It is important to
know how to do it correctly. Don’t give up hope!
Always remember that
you can’t go by how you “feel” psychologically or
physically. You must
stand on what God has said in the Word! I heard a
minister on the
radio say, if you can’t quote the scripture, say,
“Lord, be it
according to thy word.” I have a problem
memorizing scripture, so I
carry index cards notated with the scriptures I’m
standing on for that
season in my life. Nothing is more powerful than
speaking out the Word
of God!
I have great peace and joy in my life, and walk
daily with my Lord in
a way I never knew was possible! Only because I
wouldn’t give up
seeking after Him, and I pray you’ll do the same.
IT WORKS PEOPLE!
Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall
give thee the desires
of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord;
trust also in him; and
he shall bring it to pass. – Psalms 37:4-5
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